Don't dress me up

Two weekends, two fancy dress parties. And I think I failed at both.

First was a birthday party with one, simple instruction: wear red. This was stated, repeated and underlined. Turns out I only have 1 red article of clothing, namely an extra large t-shirt with this on it:

So I wore this and jeans, and showed up to find everyone decked out like it was a yacht festival in Monaco: men in Italian suites, women in stilettos and mini-dresses... and nobody at all wearing red.

Yesterday's party had a Bond Villains theme to it. My original plan had been to wear beige and go as Mr. Bigglesworth. Those who know me can confirm: I kind of look like a shaved cat anyway. But, no beige clothes, and a phone call confirmed I could just wear a cocktail dress and be an anonymous Bond girl.

I went for shocking pink, showed up, and it turns out the instruction just might have been "just wear a BLACK cocktail dress".

Oops.

Again.