Wednesday, 6 February 2013

People still die: jail the doctors

We Should Jail all Doctors

We have to admit we were perplexed when we read about the arrest, and subsequent conviction, of the Italian seismologists, because they failed to adequately foresee the 2009 Aquila earthquake and to predict the extent of its damage. Since then, however, we have gotten used to the idea, and we think it should be taken to other realms.
For example, it has been decades, and we still don’t have a cure for cancer or AIDS, so we believe it’s time for all scientists (oncologists and non) to be thrown in jail for giving us false hope. Speaking of false hope, millions of people die each year in hospitals, despite each one being staffed by so-called “doctors”. We think these doctors should be thrown in jail for being responsible for so many deaths. Let’s include pharmacists and massage therapists in this category too.
But since when is jail only for life or death situations? I, for one, think we should arrest all economists, for not foreseeing and/or getting us out of this recession. Also, many people are living subpar lives, so all politicians should be thrown in jail.
Also I remember reading about mentally ill people, so all psychiatrists and psychologists are obviously deceiving us – those criminals – and should be locked up. And obesity is still a major issue, so nutritionists are obviously all scam artists.
Then again, why even limit ourselves to health and well-being? Despite all our progress, and all our tax dollars, there are so many awful movies and terrible songs out there. Let’s arrest these movie stars, singers, directors and everyone else in the entertainment industry, since they’re just stealing our money. And don’t even get me started on sports! With all the TV channels dedicated to them, every game has at least one team losing, and this is an outrage. Everyone in the sports industry ought to be locked up.
Or, we could recognize that every job endeavors to correct some wrong or to make life a little bit better. Not always being successful at this is no reason to get thrown in jail. The italian seismologists were no more or less accurate than was humanly possible. People looking for others to blame should not be allowed to have them thrown into jail for 6 years for doing their job.

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