Friday 28 October 2011

My Dale Carnegie Notes

Finally assembled.

Part I

  1. Don't criticise, condemn or complain (my thoughts on this here). 
  2. Give honest and sincere appreciation. Premised on the notion that "The greatest urge driving man is the desire to be important." (also more thoughts of mine here). 
  3. Arouse in the other person an eager want. It is the only way to get them to do something
Part II - Get people to like you
  1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
  2. Smile.
  3. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
  4. Be a good listener.
  5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests. 
  6. Make the other person feel important
Part III - How to win people to your way of thinking
  1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. If you lose an argument, you lose it. If you win an argument, you lose it
  2. Never say "you are wrong".
  3. If you are wrong admit it quickly and emphatically.
  4. Begin in a friendly way.
  5. Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately. A double agreement, a Socratic dialogue technique
  6. Let the other person do the talking
  7. Let the other person think the idea is his.
  8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view. A home truth: it is fun getting people to like you. 
  9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires. Self-pity is, after all, a motivator. 
  10. Appeal to their nobler motives. 
  11. Dramatise your ideas. Same concept of telling a story, give people a main character with which to identify and create some drama. 
  12. Throw down a challenge. Because everybody loves the game
Part IV - How to change people
  1. Begin with honest appreciation.
  2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
  3. Talk about your own mistakes first. Why doesn't this one come first?
  4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
  5. Let the other person save face.
  6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.
  7. Give the other person a reputation to live up to.
  8. Make the error seem easy to correct.
  9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest. This seems like a goal more than a principle.

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